I'm a sucker for a sweet face

This happens every night. Nipper Katz chirps more than he meows, and even though he has a fresh bowl of water, he prefers his water running. The best part is about 36 seconds in...

I'm in trouble when this baby girl is born.

A debate and a debatable fair

Friday night was interesting. The Obama campaign encouraged debate watch parties, and it's website included open invitations to various parties hosted by local supporters. MTB and I decided that it would be fun to meet another real-life Texas Democrat and we went to one of these watch parties. It was an interesting mix of people and I believe that every Democrat in the county was there. I'll keep my political ideology and my feelings about the Republican candidate to myself, but I cannot wait to vote in just a few more weeks.

Saturday, MTB and I went to the State Fair of Texas. After walking around for 5 hours, I was hot, tired, and sore. MTB rubbed my feet later that evening, and I must say that I heart this man more all the time. As for the fair, it was just okay. I grew up going to the Tulsa State Fair, and this one just doesn't compete. And can we get over the fried-crap thing already? I know it's become the highlight of fair hype all over the country in the past few years, but this is just getting ridiculous and disgusting. The winners of this year's fried-crap contest are chicken-fried bacon and fried banana split. Ordinary people, who would normally never go near this stuff, will gobble it up at the fair as long as long as it takes 15 coupons (or $7.50). I suggested we sell chicken-fried cat turds next year. MTB noted that if I had a marketing degree, I would know that people wouldn't buy something with the word 'turd' in it, so we plan to call them chicken-fried cat fritters. Look for us on the midway next year.

Update

She lost her babies yesterday. The details of her loss are heartbreaking. I pray for her full recovery and for the memory of Adam, Joseph, and Paul.

Pop, pop music

I love, love, love all types of music, but the thought of listening to Barney sing "I love you, You love me" over and over again is a little frightening. I hope my daughter will be cool and hip enough to like what I like (because I am so cool and hip, you know), but I have often wondered would what I like be too grown up? I already know that at least some her lullabies will be from The Beatles and The Ramones catalog, but what about modern pop or those classic '80s tunes? Problem solved. Here it is... Kidz Bop... pop hits sung by kids. Listen to a sample on iTunes. It's priceless even if the average review is 1 star. (Editorial comment, some people need to get a life and stop listening to and then criticizing music intended for a kid audience. Puh-leeeze!)

And I can't wait until ChooChoo is old enough for this. She's really having a good time in my tummy this morning... she's been dancing around for almost an hour!

21w0d

I know it's normal at this point to have days when I will feel the baby move less. Yesterday was one of those days. I could feel her occasionally and it was very slight, which of course, made me paranoid and worried. I told MTB that I felt like something bad was going to happen because she was moving so little. We can still hear her heartbeat going crazy in there, and he assured me that he heard first-hand from our doctors that this is normal until about 24-26 weeks when I should be feeling her move consistently. Of course, I heard the same thing, but he actually remembers these things.

Last night we took a sunset cruise on Lake Ray Hubbard on the largest wooden catamaran in the US. (Really, it's on a lake in north Texas. Who knew?) The winds were just strong enough that it was a lovely cruise but the ride was smooth. About 10 minutes in, the baby started moving around, and I leaned toward MTB and whispered, "ChooChoo likes sailing."

She's a girly girl

I almost have everything picked out for ChooChoo's nursery. I'm looking for a rocker, but I have a few choices still in the running. Before we knew if ChooChoo is a boy or a girl, I thought either way, we wouldn't have a nursery that was too girly or too babyish. Well, her room will definitely be girly, but maybe I am still safe on the 'too babyish.' The picture below includes the furniture we ordered, and it should be in this finish (assuming delivery goes well), the swatches for her bedding, and the paint chips. (We did not order the armoire - just the crib and the 6-drawer dresser.) The scan is not perfect as the fabric colors seem a little dull, and the paint chips seem a little bright compared to the actual samples. We intend to buy a rocker in the beige color with green trim, and the walls will be green under the chair rail and pink on top. Yes, it's a girly girl's room.

Is that customer service?

The owner of the store where we bought the crib and dresser called earlier this week to make sure the order was correct. This manufacturer is a new vendor for them, and she wants to make sure everything is right. When we bought everything, the salesgirl suggested that the manufacturer is changing the dresser drawer hardware to make it feel more substantial, and that's another reason why we decided to go with this one. I asked the owner about this change, and she said that yes, they are changing it, but she wasn't exactly sure when it would happen. She asked if it would be a deal-breaker if the dresser came in with the old style drawers. MTB really prefers the new style, and I know he would not be happy with the old style. So, the owner said that she would go ahead and place the order now, and if the dresser comes in with the old style, she would reorder and swap it out. How awesome is that?

20w0d

I can’t believe that this experience is half over. When we were going through IVF in April/May, it was unfathomable to think that I could ever be 20 weeks and halfway to our baby.

My happiness today is tempered by news from an online friend who cycled the same time I did. Although I don’t know her in real life, I always enjoyed her amazingly positive attitude and generous nature. After several years of trying and disappointment, she transferred 3 embryos in May and she became pregnant with triplets. Just a few weeks ago, she found out that she was having three boys. Late last week, Baby A’s water broke. At this point, she and her doctors can still see and hear the baby’s heartbeat, but there is little chance for this baby since his amniotic fluid is gone and his lungs are unable to develop. There is also a large risk that she may go into premature labor and lose Baby B and Baby C. Please send a small prayer, good thoughts, and/or positive vibes for my friend, her husband, and their precious babies.

Update 9/23: So far, everything is okay with my friend. Last Friday marked 1 week since Baby A's water broke, and although his heart continues to beat, the doctors are advising his chances of survivial are very small. Baby B and Baby C are thriving. At this point, she is about 20 weeks, and the goal is to make it to at least 24 weeks when the babies will receive a steroid shot to help their lungs develop.

Get your kicks

I think I felt it! I've been feeling little twinges here and there, but I was afraid to attribute it to baby kicks since it could have just as easily been my digestive system hard at work. I'm pretty sure I started feeling her moving around some late last week, and now I feel her move more often. Needless to say, it is AMAZING to feel ChooChoo wriggling around in my tummy!

Just another manic Saturday

Hurricane Ike hit Texas Saturday, and it traveled north and soaked Texas through and through. I hope everyone in the direct path is safe and sound. MTB was visiting his parents this weekend, so I was on my own.

I woke up about 6 with significant cramps across my entire abdomen and a little in my back. I was immediately worried. I drank some juice and lay down for another hour hoping the cramps would fade, which they did a little, but not much.

I met my newly-found, old, high-school friend, K, who was in town for a wedding, for brunch (for the Dallas locals, we went to Breadwinners… mmmmm, I love that place). It was fabulous to see her again, and we talked for 2 ½ hours before we even knew what time it was. (The waiter was not happy with us camping out at one of his tables for so long during the height of the brunch rush hour. Maybe that’s why he stopped refilling our water glasses.) K gave ChooChoo her first piggy bank and a pair of socks, which are adorable. K is a police officer, and she gives all her girlfriends some form of a PIG as a gift. She made a point to tell me that pig stands for Pride, Integrity, and Guts. It’s adorable, and I can’t wait to finish the room so we can add this little piggy.

After brunch, I stopped by a baby store and bought two little outfits for our baby girl. The first is white with pink polka dots and a matching hat. The second is white with an eyelet pattern all over. They are absolutely adorable, and I can’t wait to dress my baby girl. These outfits seem so tiny, but when I think about the fact that a creature big enough to fit these will be inside my belly and coming out a very small opening, it freaks me out just a tad.



I had planned to make a day of baby gear shopping, but the wind and the rain had arrived in north Texas, so I headed home. The cramps I felt all day seemed to get worse after I changed into PJs and sat down for some major TV watching. Over the next hour, they continued to get worse despite drinking more water and laying down. I had no idea what to do. I tried to call a friend for advice, but she didn’t answer. I called MTB, but he wasn’t answering his phone. I called my doctor. The on-call nurse called me immediately, and basically, she was no help. She had no idea why I was cramping so badly, and it was up to me to decide if it was serious enough to go the ER or if I should wait until Monday and come into the office. I think she was irritated at me for interrupting her Saturday. I was hurting, confused and alone. Finally, I called MTB’s parents and managed to get him on the phone. He has little patience for nurses who offer no assistance, and he called the doctor’s office himself. Within 5 minutes, I got a call from the on-call doctor. After talking with her for a few minutes, she suggested that I go to the L&D triage (which is kinda like an ER for pregnant ladies after about 16 weeks – I had no idea).

I got back in the car, fought the wind and the rain, and headed to the hospital. After being admitted, the nurse hooked me up to something that measures contractions, and she quickly determined I was not contracting, so that was a huge relief. She measured my blood pressure several times and drew blood to rule out infection. My white blood count (I think that’s what it was) was slightly elevated, but not enough to be a huge concern. After more than 2 hours, I left with an inconclusive diagnosis and still cramping. I have orders to drink more water and return if they become regular (as in contractions) or if I start bleeding. Although I am relieved, I feel a little guilty for being so paranoid and scared. The nurse was awesome, and she told me I did the right thing since she would rather see me and it be nothing than for me to sit at home and it be something. I agree.

I am a scared wimp. I admit it. I accept it. I used to enjoy my solitary weekends as an opportunity to do anything I wanted or nothing at all. MTB has too much energy to sit in the house, and some of my best days are ones that start with a shower and a clean pair of PJs. Since I became pregnant, I hate being alone, and I am so needy. MTB suggested that his solo trips out of town may be on hold until after the baby is born. I won’t fight him on this.

We bought a crib!

Actually, we ordered a crib and a dresser, but we did it! After much research, changing my mind, second guessing, reading too much online, third guessing and much more, I decided on a manufacturer, found a local retailer and found a crib I like. A lot! I saw it yesterday afternoon and dragged MTB back later in the evening to push it, pull it, kick it, and generally abuse it. He suggested we just go ahead and order it since we were there and we had found the one we wanted. Truthfully, I'm not sure if he really liked it that much or if he just wanted to shut me up.

Now, I need to believe the retailer that delivery is smooth and timely, which they assured us it is. Some of the online reviews suggested that delivery could be slow from this manufacturer, but there is something negative about virtually all of them so I have to believe someone. We shall see who was right in 4-6 weeks.

This was our very first purchase for our baby - ever - not even so much as a blanket or a onsie until now. For some reason, it seems like a big leap of faith to trust that we will bring this baby home in February and start buying things now.

19w0d

It's official, 19 weeks and counting! I thought I had left the morning sickness behind, but here it is.... not everyday, but often enough. The gas has passed (Har, har, har), and I seem to be doing better on that end. Heartburn, on the other hand, is killing me. I had avoided all over the counter meds until last week when I took Tylenol for the first time, and now I have accepted that life is better with Tums. I know these things are safe to take during pregnancy, but I still prefer to go drug free, but only until the birth. At that point, I plan to ask for every drug they will give.

On the baby gear front, every time I think I know what I want, I find a web site loaded with consumer reviews where my preferred gear is trashed. So here I sit more confused than before I started this process. I had looked forward to decorating the baby's room, but now it's becoming a serious pain in the behind. I still prefer my original stroller choice, but we may end up going with a slightly less expensive stroller/car seat combo just because. Who knows at this point - I have months to figure that one out. On a bright note, I think I have finally decided on bedding. It's not sold locally, and I have requested swatches, which should be here in a day or two. With the swatches, I should be able to decide on a furniture finish and paint colors. We didn't want to go tooooo pink, but I think it's headed that direction. I can't help it.

Given that MTB is now working from home, he's commandeered what will become the baby's room. (Yes, we are the only couple left in Dallas who actually live and survive in a 3 bedroom, 2 bath house - no 4th or 5th bedroom and no office, game room or media room.) We agreed that within the next month, he will rent office space in town. Although he is doing extremely well and getting more and more work all the time, we believe that he will be more productive without the lure of home distractions. Besides, I think being home this much is starting to drive him crazy. Once he moves out, we plan to rip up and replace the carpet, add some chair mouldings, and paint. I hope we get all this done by the end of October.

Also, thanks to everyone who provided thoughts on yesterday's post.

How to be a good friend

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I found several old friends from high school. T was my closest friend for a long time, but we slowly grew apart. We had last spoken about 5 years ago. Over the past few weeks, we have exchanged several emails, but we have not spoken yet. She is an elementary school teacher, and she met the love of her life and got married a few years ago. A few days ago, she shared that she had a complete hysterectomy last year, and she is unable to have kids. She was somewhat vague, but significant tumors necessitated the surgery. She said that her 3 step kids and her 500 students keep her happy.

My question is, how do I move forward with sensitivity? Our conversations so far have all been via email, and it's impossible to determine her tone much less how much all this really affects her. I told her I was sorry that I didn't know about her surgery, and that I couldn't be there for support, and she never said another word. I told her that I am pregnant before I knew of her troubles, and since she told me, I let her know that we were having a little girl. So what do I do now? I want to see her and catch up, but I have no idea if she would want to see me given my current delicate condition. I have no idea if I should bring up the subject again. I have no idea what to say. I should know better given the blogs I read on a daily basis, but I am completely at a loss about this one. Any thoughts?

Reality bits

Our weekend started with a baked pancake. I am late to this party, but I discovered a whole blogosphere dedicated to food and cooking. Over the past few weeks, I’ve scoured these blogs looking for easy to prepare and tasty homemade recipes. We’ve tried all sorts of new things including carrot cake cupcakes, pulled BBQ chicken, coleslaw, homemade bread, apple crisp (using fresh apples, no less), stacked enchiladas, chicken pot pie and tomato soup. Mmmmmmmm…..

After the baked pancake with a fresh warm apple topping, MTB and I headed out to the stores. I’ve done a fair bit of research related to the many baby products we need to buy before this little girl creature enters the world, and this weekend was the first that I could convince MTB that hauling ourselves from store to store to check out this stuff in person is great fun. We started with Pottery Barn Kids. This particular PBK is located in an area of town where people get dressed up as if they are going to work out, but instead, they meet their friends at Starbucks where they then look at everyone passing on the sidewalk with pity and disdain. PBK wasn’t exactly packed, but it seems like a few salespeople didn’t bother to show up for work, and the only saleslady spent all her time talking with a couple of grandparents who appeared to be perplexed at which rocker was truly the best and most comfortable. Seriously, the old woman sat in a rocker for 30 minutes while the saleslady described every chair in the store and in the catalog. Meanwhile, younger couples with many young children were all over the store. We saw one woman trying desperately to console her pouting son with the assurance, “I’ve ordered this for you. I promised. I’ve ordered this for you, and you should get it in a few days! I swear!” MTB whispered in my ear, “We're about to enter a whole other demographic. I’m scared.” We left after about 30 minutes without talking to a single PBK employee and without getting any of my consumer questions answered. On top of that, later that day, 2 friends suggested that the PBK furniture may not be the highest quality stuff. I’m wondering if PBK is the place to buy furniture.

Next stop, a little baby store where they had the stroller/car seat combo I want. This store is more or less in the same area of town, yet the people seemed so much more down to earth. Most of the people we saw on the sidewalks looked as if they were dressed in Target’s finest rather than Neimans’ best. (Just an aside, Dallas is a very pretentious city as acknowledged by nearly everyone. Real Simple even had an article a few years ago that included the quote, “All this in a city where women get dressed up to go to the grocery store.” They were not kidding.) Immediately, I saw the stroller, and within 60 seconds the saleslady was helping us. What a difference a few blocks makes. She went through all the bells and whistles, but then she switched gears. She told us that my preferred stroller was not the ultimate like this one over here. At this point, she goes into the hard sell on stroller #2, which does not come with the car seat, but you can buy an adapter and put another make and model car seat on it. She was with us about 20 minutes before she had to step away to help another customer. MTB and I pushed both strollers around the store and tried to compare and contrast. As we prepared to leave, she came back to us. MTB mentions that I still prefer stroller #1, and she gives me a look like I am crazy, uninformed, ridiculous or just plain stupid. Talk about feeling like a loser.

We hit a few other stores with little excitement but more confusion. I started the day with a relatively good idea what I wanted to see and possibly what we planned to buy. I ended the day clueless and indecisive (although I still feel strongly about my original stroller choice). We talked about all that we need to buy, and it’s a little overwhelming. On top of all the baby gear, we have a few other unavoidable and significant purchases. Regardless of informed buying, discounts, and Amex points, it’s going to be an expensive few months.

All about the ultrasound and then some

MTB and I spent the holiday at the cabin. It was a glorious weekend and the weather was perfect. Despite the fact that it’s a very relaxing place, I didn’t sleep well, and I tossed and turned every night. The naps, on the other hand, were awesome. One morning, MTB and I got up early, and before breakfast, we canoed up to the falls where I parked myself on a gravel bar with a book and MTB fished. Soon, two dads paddled up with four kids ranging from 4-6 (I’m guessing). It was hilarious to watch the kids jump around in the water and play in the falls. There was non-stop chatter from the kids, and I’m excited for the day when MTB and I can watch ChooChoo play the same way.

Monday night after we returned home, I found a tick on my leg, and I freaked out a little bit. MTB helped me remove it, and I immediately consulted Dr. Google, who was no comfort. About 3 in the morning, I woke up feeling really bad and cramping. I now believe that it was likely just round ligament pain, but being scared, I didn’t think of that immediately. I got up with the Doppler, and attempted to find the heartbeat as I lay on the sofa. For the first time, I couldn’t find the heartbeat. I heard my heartbeat fine, but ChooChoo was nowhere to be found. Freaking out, I woke MTB, and together, we attempted again to find the heartbeat with no luck. At that point, I lost it completely, and I was basically inconsolable. MTB was convinced it was the batteries, and even though I could clearly hear my heartbeat, he insisted on changing the batteries and trying again with even more of the goopy gel. Finally, after 35 minutes since I started trying to find a heartbeat, we heard the familiar boom, chug, boom, chug of ChooChoo’s little heart. (By the way, my OB isn’t too concerned about the tick although I will need to go in immediately if I develop a fever at any point. I guess I’m okay with that.)

Given our difficulties in finding the heartbeat, I was definitely nervous going into the ultrasound Tuesday morning. Our appointment was one of the first, and we got right in without a long wait. The sonographer came in with huge smiles, and I tried to relax, but until we saw the baby okay and jumping around, it wasn’t easy. We agreed that we wanted to know the sex, and she started. Immediately, we saw our baby moving around with her hands and both feet up by her head. She has the perfect profile, and it was wonderful to see again. The sonographer spent a few minutes just looking around, and then she found it…. the money shot! ChooChoo is a girl! MTB was holding my hand and he squeezed it a little. We couldn’t be more happy to finally know that our baby is actually our daughter!



Then the sonographer went about the official business of the ultrasound and measured everything. ChooChoo is still measuring a few days ahead, and according to the femur length, she is measuring about a week ahead. The sonographer felt like everything looked perfect and she left us with a video of the ultrasound and a few pictures. The doctor came in, looked around, and confirmed that he thought ChooChoo is a girl as well. He mentioned that he saw everything he expected to see at 18 weeks, but given my age, he wants to see the baby again when she is a little more developed. I go in again at 22 weeks. He did his best to assure us that everything is fine, and I’m trying not to worry.

The rest of Tuesday was uneventful but for the familiar headache that showed up on schedule about noon. The only difference was that it didn’t go away before bedtime like it usually does. By about 11, it was a full-blown migraine, and I was miserable. I couldn’t sleep, and I tossed and turned for a few hours. About 2 in the morning, I broke down and took the Tylenol. In the past, Tylenol would have bounced off one of my migraines without any effect, but I haven’t had a speck of pain meds since April, and I think my body appreciated anything because surprisingly, it took enough of the edge off that I was finally able to fall asleep. This was the first true migraine I’ve had since April, so I suppose I should consider myself lucky.

The last few days have been filled with highs and lows. I’m looking forward to a few days and weeks of nothing too eventful except knowing that my daughter is growing and jumping around inside my tummy.

17w6d